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Blurbing Matthew Stafford’s Super Bowl Debut
“A real once in a lifetime experience! Matthew Stafford is a heckuva quarterback.” — Jack Franklin, Car Salesman and Former Detroit Resident
“Textured. Like the inside of a nearly empty peanut butter jar that isn’t quite empty ever.” — Carl Samsonite, High School Football Special Teams Coach and Part-time English Teacher
“Los Angeles has had a lot of guys behind center, but not a one was named Matthew Stafford until now.” — Barbara Babcock, Local News Anchor
“Where did Los Angeles find this guy? Saint Louis? Detroit? The sky is the absolute limit, unless you’re a spaceship. And this Stafford kid has a rocket for an arm.” — Character Cut From a Yet-to-be-made Will Ferrell Movie About the XFL
“I can’t believe he hadn’t thrown a football until the playoffs. Some guys are great their entire careers. Some guys come with real lineages and championship pedigrees. Others are like meteors streaking the wild night sky on the eve of a mass extinction. You tell me what Matthew Stafford is, and I’ll tell you he’s something else.” — Calvin Johnson, Decepticon and Fashion Model
“He just came out of nowhere — a real tour de force!” — His own mother
“I don’t know if there’s a movie in it.” — Kurt Warner, Former Grocery Store Employee
