Say Goodbye to Brat Summer and Hello to Brat Autumn

Honey, what’s wrong? You’re not wearing any lime green.

Brat summer is ending. Can’t you feel the chill in the air?

That just means Brat Autumn is heating up? I’ve got the grill cleaned.

You think this brat wants a clean grill.

I just know the Brewers and Twins are in the postseason hunt. And football’s already started.

I miss the club.

I just lit the coals with a bic lighter.

Anything goes?

Anything goes. You want a kielbasa? A veggie burger? I’m willing to risk it.

But that wouldn’t make up for brat summer being over.

No, it wouldn’t, but I’m sure we can recreate brat summer in the aggregate.

Brat means groundmeat.

And wurst is sausage.

Hm.

I don’t want to get to carried away.

That’s not very brat.

That’s what I was thinking, so hear me out.

I’m listening.

Brat is everything everywhere all at once rolled into one intestinal mammal tube! You can even eat brat no bun intended.

Are you saying rawdog a brat?

No, a brat should never be raw. So never rawdog a brat. Simmer. Simmer. Fire all day. But never high heat. Even in autumn. It’ll lose flavor. Stay lime.

Stay green.

Now, we’re talking, honey.

My slime.

Actually, I’m a traditionalist in that sense. Just mustard.

Very demure.

No cap. Let’s give it up for the butchers. They slay. And we eat.

Relish? Onion? Sauerkraut?

Very thoughtful.

Ketchup?

Let’s keep to bright yellow. Heinz 57 is so cheugy. Don’t be the main character in the main parking lot.

You always say that.

Gotta know how to tailgate.

Who’s the sleeveless brat?

That’s a pick-me podcast guy who talks to pick-me quarterbacks all day.

You don’t like him?

No, McAffee’s my bro. They’re all my bros, honey.

Who’s old man panda baby?

You mean the guy in the Badger suit?

Yeah, the furry rizzler.

That’s Lee Corso. He’s classic as yellow mustard.

I’m worried the brats might be mid.

Honey?

What?

I’m battering them in Leinie’s, so it’ll hit different.

Is Kamala brat?

Is Tim Walz brat?

Don’t forget to send in your Menard’s rebate.

Slime?

So what makes a brat brat?

What makes a brat brat? Paprika and sage. Cumin, coriander, ginger, and nutmeg. It’s all in the seasoning.

Anything goes?

Anything goes.

I’ll take that pumpkin spice latte now.